I let the donuts sit in my room for a day, then taste tested them. I also poked them to check the texture. Trans fats and lard are pretty much pastry preservatives, according to my patisserie friend Hallie Reiss. So testing the donuts for taste and texture seems essential to the evaluation process.
On day 1, the donuts were squishy and both tasted fresh. On a scale of 1 to 5, one being delicious and squishy, and five being stale and hard, Dynamo was at a solid 1 while The Jelly Donut was about a 1.5, bordering 2. For texture, the Dynamo donut was a 1 while The Jelly Donut was about a 2.5.
Both donuts lasted to day two in relatively good shape.
The Dynamo donut was still relatively squishy, I would give it about a 2 on the texture scale. For taste, it had a harder, bread like taste and texture. The frosting looked caramelized and fell off in chunks but still tasted quite good, I would give it a 2 for taste.
The Jelly Donut, donut was a bit harder the second day. The outer shell (both frosting and pastry) was hard, but inside, the donut was still relatively squishy, for texture I gave it a 2.5. The donut tasted a bit blander than it had on day one, the frosting was hard and tasted way too sugary. 3 for taste.
This is where it started to get gnarly.
The Dynamo donut started to taste like stale bread. The flavor was starting to go and the frosting was starting to get hard. 3 for taste. When poked, the donut was hard, but not to the same degree as The Jelly Donut, for that, I gave the Dynamo a 3.5 for texture.
The Jelly Donut was hard as a rock. Seriously, I cut my mouth on it during the taste test. Well, I think I cut my mouth on the frosting, but either way, Jelly Donut gets a 5 in taste and 5 in texture. The donut cut my mouth open.
Day 4 there were flies. Not being one to give up, I halfway considered following through on the project, but after listening to this song, I thought twice and threw out the donuts.
For the record, more flies attached themselves to the Dynamo donut.